The Joys of Parenting

It can sometimes seem as though parenting (in my experience anyways) is mostly negative. What with the screaming, fighting, destruction, sleepless nights, mess etc, it can seem like it's a never ending cycle of bad and worse. However, contrary to popular belief (and my Facebook) there is, in fact, a lot of joy to be had- you just have to take a step back to recognise and appreciate it sometimes...

Newborns (little, titchy babies- like, less than a month old): well, the joys here are obvious. New babies are cute, they smell great, they are light and cuddly and cosy and sweet! Every moment is spent watching them and waiting for them to make a new discovery or develop a new skill. It really is a miraculous time, and I often would just stare in disbelief at my newborns; disbelief that they were my own little people, and also at the fact that they were inside me not so long ago...

Babies (until about six months): about the same as the twitchy babies, but now the little loves can recognise people! They actually start to love you back, and try to talk and move towards you. I love how the babies are so attached to me at this age- even though it's instinctual, it is still lovely. 

Big babies (six months to a year): love love love this age! The bubs are learning to crawl (Anna was already an expert by this time) and walk. They are starting to say their first words. They are developing a sense of humour. They are learning all about their world- often in a messy and hilarious way. 

Tiny toddlers (one year olds): much the same as the big babies, except more skillful. I can't count the times I found Alex making some kind of mess and I was left scratching my head as to how he thought of it or how he achieved it. Being the first, he had no older sibling to model himself on, it was all him. One of the really great things about one year olds, is teaching them to talk... It is so cute. You end up with all these words which are completely wrong but you don't correct your child because it's just too cute!

The terrible twos: okay, I won't lie, the terrible twos are exactly that at our house, but there is still some joy to be had amongst the chaos... Investing time into two year olds is invaluable! Play, cook, play, clean, play, garden and play some more. Two year olds need to be kept busy. The happiest days are the days where we are busy and we spend time together, at home, the park, the beach, on public transport- you get the idea... Investing time. It is an exhausting time for a parent, trying to keep up with chores etc, other kid(s) and entertaining a two year old, but it is worth it. I've found that having some imaginative toys (like Lego or dolls etc) is great for two year olds- we can set aside some time everyday when mum can be a kid and play (I find this works best when the baby is in bed). Twos are also toilet training time- an achievement that literally changes life for the better!

Now, I won't go through the threes and fours- I really don't have enough experience to have much of an opinion. However, I will say that during the threes (at about three and a half), Alex had a positive change... He started sleeping through the night and his behaviour improved immensely. 

Siblings: are a major source of joy! Watching my kids interact and play together is awesome... Not only does it free up some time to get necessary chores done, but it is also lovely to watch. It's probably my favourite thing about parenting. 

Smiles, giggle and belly laughs: what's not to love? When the kids are running around and cracking up laughing, it really is infectious. It has to be one of the greatest sounds in the world.

"I love you mum": whether it's said or implied- this is the pinnacle. Last night, I was lying down on a pillow next to Benji at 11:50 (he had woken up at 11). I was looking at him (struggling to keep my eyes open), and though his face was in shadow, I saw a smile spread across his face as soon as our eyes met. I was so exhausted, but at that moment, my heart melted and I was reminded, yet again, how everything is worth it. Also, when you are cuddling a sick child and you feel their little bodies just relax- that sense of security and comfort that only you can provide- it makes it all worth it. 

Sometimes, the joys of of parenting are obvious- a fun day at the beach, a family night filled with laughter. Other times, the joy is stepping back and appreciating that your kids need you, they want your approval, your time, your energy. Kids don't get that mum (and dad) are tired, frustrated, stressed- they shouldn't need to. They are kids and shouldn't have to understand adult issues. Sometimes, I need to remember that, and in remembering that, allow myself to feel joy- even when it seems joyless. It's not about always being happy- that just isn't possible- but being always joyful, well, that's doable. In fact, that's what we are supposed to do. So I guess that's the hard nut to crack with parenting- being joyful, always! (After writing this, hopefully I will be able to take my own advice!)

Please note: as much as I would rather not spend most of my life cleaning, sometimes the messes that the kids make are so creative and innovative that part of me is impressed. I act all cross and unimpressed, but I'm often trying to hold back a giggle and the sheer enormity of the destruction... Same goes for some tantrums- the more epic, the more hilarious. Often, the situations that look the worst (in pictures) are the ones that annoy me the least.

Weekly wrap up #5

So, I'm thinking that I'm going to restructure my weekly wrap ups in the style of the oh so awesome American mummy (mommy) bloggers, and instead of a run down of my week, I will give seven quick takes (or little thoughts from my week). So, here goes...

1

Having a child in kindy is all sorts of good :) Alex is adjusting well. He is still a bit of a crier but he assures me that he only cries for a little bit. This week, our biggest dilemma was when the teacher showed me a mat with chunks out of each side, next to a pile of chunks... Apparently, according to the teacher, Alex had claimed he was hungry... With a banana, a sandwich, a container of mini wheats, a tub of yoghurt and a rice cake, I doubt he was hungry, and even so, I guess he has learnt that rubber mats are not very appetising.

2

Another positive to come out of kindy, the concept of thumbs up and thumbs down behaviours. Alex and Anna are both so upset when we say, that was thumbs down behaviour. I took them to the shops the other day and after mentioning that someone was doing thumbs down behaviour, there was a meltdown, no, I want thumbs up, thumbs UP! Well, having your kids begging to be good is, well, a massive win!

 

3

I managed to have a clean house by the end of the week. I know that it might sound a bit, well boring, but for me, this is worthy of top three polling!

4

My husband built me something that I saw on Pinterest :) Now that I have a kindy kid, I decided that we needed a bag rack. So I picked a wall, picked a design and let my hubby do the rest. Very pleased with the outcome, now we are just waiting on a paint job. Also, we were so happy with it that we may extend it around the corner (emphasis on the word may, we don't want to get ahead of ourselves).

5

The forty plus degree weather has successfully ruined all our sleep training (weeks of letting our littlest love scream). Arrrggh! It's driving me absolutely crazy! Benji is screaming to sleep, sleeping for an hour or so, then waking up and demanding a feed. Now denying Benj a feed is potentially dangerous- he lashes out with scratching little nails (claws) and head butts and shrieks like a velociraptor. So yeah, I usually give in, a couple times a night... I am almost back to zombie status.

6

Have been watching zero tv these days... And loving it! I just find reading soooo much more engaging and I get tired quicker so go to sleep earlier... Oh man, just forgot, that whole last bit was a bit of a lie... We watched the Twilight Saga this week, because I was feeling a bit down and I figured that a bit of mindless and depressing dribble might make me feel better (plus I love the soundtrack- particularly to the first one)... So, apart from Twilight, been watching zero tv :) Oh, and if you're wondering, I did feel better after watching it- Bella is just so depressing that she makes everyone's lives look great.

7

And lucky last, I'm having a hard time thinking of a seventh on account of the fact that Benji is screaming so loud. Honestly, this is one part of parenting I really struggle with. The screaming, and the whinging, oh and the fighting, and the hitting, biting and scratching... Yeah, been having one of those weeks where I think, I'm really not that good at this parenting thing- but I'm going to turn it around, maybe I am okay it, maybe my kids are just not so good at being well behaved! And here it is, my final 'quick take' (drum roll please) after months of me begging, bribing, threatening etc, my daughter has decided to be toilet trained- and it's done! (During the day at least). I guess she just wanted it to be on her own terms, like everything else (yes, I am screwed once she is a teenager). Anyways, well done Anna, about time!

And, here's what I wore on Sunday!

To homeschool or not to homeschool?

It's a question that has already been answered in our home: no. However, my thoughts sway like a pendulum, constantly gliding between the benefits of one versus the other. I went to school, my husband went to school and so, therefore, our kids will go to school... To me, that is not enough. I like to way up all the pros and cons and make a decision, but also reserve the right to change my decision at a moment's notice, is that too much to ask?

Okay, I guess I should start by giving the reasons why homeschooling is even a blip on my radar... I read blogs! Yep, blog reading can be dangerous- for your marriage! You see, blogs give me ideas, which lead to action (cos I am my mother 's daughter, and why have an idea, I tend to execute it immediately!) Anyways, I'll be a little more specific on why homeschool (in theory) is so appealing to me...

1) We are Catholic. Not get baptised and go to Church once, maybe twice a year Catholic... But get baptised, attend Mass every week at least once, pray daily, learn about our faith (and try to live it) and live liturgically kind of Catholic. This type of Catholicism is hard work, it takes time, dedication, sacrifice among other things (but I hear that the reward is so worth it!) So, I would rather not have all our hard work installing authentic Catholic values in our children be undermined by teachers who do not know or aren't practicing the faith. Unfortunately, this is the case even in many (if not all) Catholic schools.

Weekly wrap up #4

Well, this week has brought about a delightful new development... Alex, my oldest child, began kindy!! Yep, two full days in a row! I'm getting a bit ahead of myself, so let's start at the very beginning...

Monday: public holiday, Australia Day- we did nothing! Not entirely true, I did send my husband down to Bunnings to pick up the materials we needed to put up a really cool bag rack along our hall way, however, due to poorly timed naps and not having the right tools on hand, we decided that the purchase was good enough and we would get around to the building at some other time... I did start my ultra structured daily routine, but with daddy home, it was loosely adhered to.

Tuesday: the big day! Dad back at work and Alex's first day at kindy. Alex started the day really well, got up, had breakfast, got dressed and ready... He did tell me that he wasn't going to go to kindy because it made him sad and he would cry, but I just said that it was okay to cry and I would be there to pick him up at the end of the day.