It's been a while.. so what's new?

Well, quite a bit has happened since my last post. My husband is just finishing his two week holiday (did I mention that I love the fact that he is a teacher- purely from a selfish perspective), we had our baby morphology scan, our family car died :( but we bought a new, bigger car-one that we are all going to fit in :).

So, first things first; when the husband is on holidays... I love when my Sam is on holidays but it usually doesn't translate in practice to what one would assume in principle... You would think that two adults at home means twice as much gets done- that is a big misconception (well, at our house anyways). I tend to sit around and think, well, Sam's on holidays so he will get around to it. I'm pretty sure that Sam sits around thinking, I'm on holidays! That being said, everyone has been fed, clothed and looked after adequately, and now that we have reached the final Saturday before he goes back to work, the house is finally clean (don't you just love the feeling of walking on mopped floors as opposed to sticky messes?).

Speaking of sticky messes (probably should not go here- makes me out to be a terrible mother!), yesterday Benji spilled some red fizzy drink on the tiles and I didn't quite get it all. So today, when he saw that I had a mop in hand and a mission, he quickly tried to lick up the residual sticky, pink mark. Ewww, I know, it's gross, I'm a terrible mother, but I had to share because, well, it is kind of funny.

Next item on the agenda- my morphology scan. I have never found out the sex of any of my children before. I like the idea of the surprise, plus, I am so impatient that I kind of use it as a way of being forced to be patient. This time, I asked my husband to make the decision and he decided to find out- guess what, another boy... I was in a considerable amount of shock... I had already set up the 'girls' room, convinced the kids that baby 'Rosie' was on her way and was tossing up the idea of getting my baby girl clothes out and ready... Yep, arrogance (as my friend so kindly informed me) was my downfall. Looking back, I should have known, horrendous morning sickness (got next to none with my daughter), craving salty foods (but just pretending I was craving creamy foods instead- doesn't actually work apparently). The one thing that was really pushing me towards girl very strongly was the fact that I am putting on a lot of weight, and my bottom and thighs are expanding fast (so is my stomach)- but apparently my body has decided that, from now on, pregnancy is just going to mean putting on lots of weight everywhere, regardless of which gender I am carrying :( Wah wah! The fact that I have become ultra vain in the past few months is just very unfortunate- on top of the increasing size issues, my skin is a nightmare (also part and parcel with me and carrying boys). So, I'm resigned to the fact that this is not going to be a very attractive pregnancy, but I'll still try to make the best of it :) Oh, and for the record, I am happy with the fact that I am going to have three boys around the place come March. It will be a very different dynamic for me and my husband, who both grew up in very female-heavy homes. Now, we just have to figure out a name :)

Okay, now for something exciting... my car died (not the exciting part), so we were forced to search for a replacement a few months sooner than anticipated and I got a Kia Grand Carnival. It's huge. I feel like I'm driving a bus. The kids in the back row are almost in a different car! I can still fit prams and a whole load of other stuff in the boot with the back row up AND the best thing of all... we are all going to fit with two seats to spare! I'm not usually that materialistic but I have to admit, I do love my new car (not in the way I love my babies, but in the way my husband loves his tv).

Unfortunately, I don't really have any pics to post atm. Been a bit slack in that department. However, tomorrow is Sunday, so I will post a WIWS pic on the bottom of tomorrow's post.

What you do when you find out you're pregnant

About three months ago, I found out I was pregnant with our fourth child. I did a test even though I already knew I was. How did I know? Well, I kind of figured it out when I got really emotional during Masterchef, yep, seriously. At that moment I knew, because I'm just not sentimental unless my hormones are out of whack- hence, pregnant. Anyways, after I cried (partly out of shock- was not planning on getting pregnant anytime soon because I'd only finished feeding a Ben a few weeks earlier, and partly due to the instant realisation that 'oh s$&@, I have to go through labour- again!'), I started to think about the important things... How was I going to look good while pregnant???

Yes, I know, vain! But seriously, one of the first things I did to get me in a better, less scared frame of mind was start googling 'pregnancy style/ maternity style'. From there, I discovered a love of Pintrest, but I'll save that for another time. I looked up so many different pregnancy 'looks' and screen shot my favourites. I actually got to the point where I was looking forward to looking pregnant so I could rock my awesome new style. And then, I started to look pregnant and now, at 17 weeks, my visions of me looking chic, put together and awesome are, sad to say, destroyed :(

First thing- when I'm pregnant my tummy hurts (wah wah). I can't wear anything tight around my waist because I feel sooo uncomfortable. This affects like everything except tent attire. I have to wear low slung, loose skirts/ pants. I bought a couple of official maternity skirts/ shorts during my last pregnancy, and for me, it was totally worth it. Elastic waists are key! I know that some people can wear 'normal' pants or use belly bands and feel comfortable, but I can't. I need wide, elasticated waist bands!

Secondly, the pregnant people who I was using as inspiration always looked like they just had a bump. I don't. I have love handles, and they are growing along with my new little bundle. So that eliminates about 90% of the looks I had aspired to. The other 10% are not attainable because it seems that most people who post these glamourous get ups either don't already have couple of mess machines with grubby fingers ready to spoil my style or they change into 'mum wear' once the pic is taken. Some mornings I get dressed and think, yeah, I look alright, and then I remember what I need to do that day and I realise that it just isn't going to work. And the fact that I'm not even half way means there is a loooong hill to go down before I can even think of going up again.

Finally, I don't like spending a lot of money on clothes, maternity or otherwise. (I should really rephrase, because the carefree (not wife and mother) part of me would love to spend exhorbitant and irresponsible amounts of money on clothes and live like a celebrity, but that is just not attainable- and surely it gets boring being able to afford everything you want, am I right?) Most of the clothes I own are from op shops (good brands that I can actually afford- I have not one, but two Cue jackets) or just basics from shops like Big W, Kmart or Target. I also have two and a half wardrobes; normal clothes, pregnancy clothes and transition clothes- pulled from the the first two most of the time. So buying a particular piece of awesome maternity wear could, quite possibly, be using up my entire season/ year's clothing budget and I just don't want to look that good that badly :)

But, in spite of all this, I am going to continue to attempt to look as put together as possible during this pregnancy, you know, do my hair, occasional make up, use accessories and wear clothes that flatter my bumpiness. Why? Well, it's not only vanity, I also feel better when I don't look like I've been bit by a bus (aka how I look when I first wake up). Also, I want my daughter to see that no matter what your body looks like, you can dress in a way that is flattering and that putting effort into how you look is important.

And keeping in tune with the vibe of today's post, I have my WIWS picture, along with some additional pics of my kidlets having a picnic and play at the park after church yesterday... Good times had by all :)

 WIWS- Courtesy of my little sister (Thanks photographer Reebz). Bump- 17 weeks :)

Life is not meant to be comfortable

When I was a child, I had no insecurities about life. I always felt safe, the world, as far as I could see, was mostly good, I never wanted for anything. When I was a teenager, my insecurities were all selfish- I was concerned with my welfare and comfort above all else.

Now I am an adult, a wife and a mother. I no longer feel as if there are no cares in the world. Sure, I can control my own little bubble of concerns (at the moment), and I feel a great comfort in being able to do that. But now, I see what the world is like. I see how people are killed for their faith (something that I used to assume had ended a looong time ago). I see how there are children in the world who never know security and comfort and it makes me realise what all those saints (and even parts of the Bible) were trying to get at; life is not meant to be comfortable...

That is quite a mind boggling concept to many these days. People who lived in the beginning of last century dedicated the majority of their time and resources to farming or acquiring enough food. If they were cold, they would put on extra clothes, move closer to the fire or just grin and bear it. If they were hungry, there was often little to be done. If they didn't have shoes, the nearest Target was about 80 years away (you can see their dilemma). Everything was harder, took longer and often, the result was a lot less comfortable than what we have today.

Today, (in this country), we dedicate our efforts to being comfortable. That includes having the necessities, but also includes things like entertainment, insta-warmth (heaters), insta-cool (air conditioners), playing sport (people didn't used to have the time/energy to play sports), going on holidays etc. I am guilty of seeking comfort. It is what our bodies naturally gravitate towards. When the alarm goes off, we snooze, when we don't feel like cooking, we get take away, when we are cold, we put on the heater instead of getting a blanket etc.

When I was thinking about this post, I realised that the opposite to comfort (when it is a choice) is self discipline. Self discipline is something that the saints had, and I don't. Self discipline is the key to self mastery. Without self discipline, we are little more than slaves to our passions- we just do what we feel like. This is quite a dangerous practice, because once we allow our bodies to fall into this trap of doing what we feel like, it is a slippery slope to allowing our minds to thinking what we feel (relativism). Even if we manage to maintain a disciplined mind by cultivation (through reading/discussion etc), if our bodies are not disciplined, we will appear to be hypocrites, because our bodies will betray their passions ahead of our mind's discipline (the Spirit is willing but the flesh is weak).

So, long story short, I am going to make an effort to become more self disciplined- so I am going to make some choices to make my life less comfortable. I think it was St Mary Mackillop who said something along the lines of "we are all just pilgrims" (on Earth). I know that I need to really stop fighting this idea. I am very attached, not only to people, but to the comforts of this Earth. Detachment is such a regurgitated theme in the Church, and it's one that I really need to start working on.

Three, almost four kids... are you crazy?

I have three kids aged 5 and under... apparently this is a lot. And, now I'm pregnant. For me, four kids, really not a huge number, granted that it's more than today's average family (in this country). Don't get me wrong, three (soon to be four) kids is a lot of work and takes a lot of effort but let me tell you a little secret... so did one kid!

When I had my first child, I was a zombie (see last post!). I would often think, and sometimes say, if this is what having one kid is like, how in the world did my mum cope with seven?!? Well, now that I have a couple more kids floating around, I have worked out an answer, you just learn to cope. Very few people have zero to three kids overnight, and so there is a learning curve. I was the least organised, efficient etc when I had just Alex. I was no good with letting him cry, at, all- so I held him, a lot. I read all the wrong things- things that suggested that if my child wasn't interacting with someone/ something all the time, then I was doing him a disservice. The penny finally dropped when I realised how overstimulated he was and how codependent we were on one another (it was probably worse on my end) and, much to my husband's relief, I finally started to detach. Unfortunately, it took another pregnancy to give me that push.

Once I had my second child, Anna, I started to realise that maybe my kids don't need me there at all times. Skipping ahead to my third and all of a sudden, I had the whole kids being separate thing down pat (sort of). Benji spent a lot of time lying on a pillow in the middle of the lounge room during his first month or so of life. The older kids were fascinated but easily distracted so they kind of had the attitude of "cool, a baby... what does it do?". Alex and Anna were already playing together by the time Benji was born. Alex was 3 1/2, Anna was 1 1/2. They were the 'big kids'. I didn't need to supervise them constantly, just be accessible. 

As Benji has grown, I've watched him transition from a baby to a 'big kid'. Okay, he is only just 18 months (tomorrow, in fact), but he is part of the gang and tougher than, well, both of the others. He learned to walk by 12 months and in the last couple weeks or so, he has started learning to talk in earnest. One thing about Benji is that, regardless if he is capable, he is keen. He has never let his inabilities get in the way of 'kicking it with the big kids'. This makes my life so much easier. The 'three stooges' are always wandering off together, getting into some sort of mischief, but mostly just enjoying each others company. 

So, the more children I have in quick succession, the better their childhood seems to be (in our case, anyways). They love being together, exploring, role playing, making up stories/ scenarios, crafting etc. When they do these activities on their own, their attention spans tend to be shorter and they ask for TV more often. During the day, the three of them don't ask for TV at all. They don't fight much, and when they start to annoy each other, the older two actually will just go and do something on their own for a while. I am impressed by how much incidental learning about relationships and conflict resolution occurs during their play.

Lately, when I take the children out in public, there is one comment that seems to come out a lot- "well, you have your hands full, don't you?" Now, due to my over-analytical crazy brain, I used to get really flustered by this comment (are they saying that I am not doing a good job? are they genuinely impressed that I tackle this daunting task of taking three kids out in public at once? etc), but now, I always give the same reply... "Yes, I do, but I also had my hands full when there was only one :)" I put the emoticon there because I always smile- You kind of need to make sure that you advertise having a 'larger than average family' as a positive thing because, well, it is!

Over the past 5 years, I have learned so much and grown so much as a mother and a person. The experiences over these years are shaping me into a better version of myself- there are days that I hate the screaming, psychotic nutcase that I seemed to have morphed into- but these days do pass. So, mothers, when you are at your wit's end and your thinking resembles "I can't do this, I am the World's worst mother!" just take a breath, break the routine as soon as possible (for me, this often means rearrange some furniture and maybe have takeaway) and realise, you can do this, actually, you are doing this! In fact, the very fact that you care so much about your role as mother is proof enough that you are putting in the best you have, and that is all you can do, so I give you permission to give yourself a break :)

Disclaimer: While having a 'larger than average' family is right for us, it is not right for everyone. I don't think that the 'bigger the family, the better'. For us, our family is what it is at any given time, no concrete plans.

I'm a morning person... and how it happened

Before I get into this post, I have an apology to make. Sorry to my avid readers (Teresa and Kitty). I did make a New Year's resolution to write at least one post a week- and I have failed, miserably! I could give a myriad of excuses (busy, sick kids blah blah) but I won't, because at the end of the day there is really only one reason; I got a little (big) bit lazy. Well, I'm back (hopefully on a regular basis)...

I have never really been a morning person. I've always just got up when I had to (sometimes, very reluctantly). People who would tell me how they get out of bed at any time before 7am by choice baffled me. Why? I would wonder. For mums, I always thought, if your kid(s) is asleep, then, by all means, stay in bed! I don't want to accidentally wake that hurricane up! But, more importantly, I like my bed and being all cosy and comfy and maybe tomorrow I won't get the opportunity to sleep in, so I should probably take advantage as long as possible.

Well, it has been a relatively quick transition, but I can say that I am now a morning person. I choose to get up by 6:45am (I don't use an alarm so I just get up when I wake up). My children usually wake up between 6:45 - 7am, so I often get up earlier and have 15 minutes or so on my own! That, for a mother of little people is like gold. Most mornings, I have done the rosary, my stretches and weights (1kg, because I'm hard core), all before I've even seen one of my offspring. It feels very liberating. I used to find that by getting up to the call of a child, I felt like the servant for the whole day. No time to prepare myself physically, spiritually or mentally. This put me in a bad frame of mind for the outset. Now, I feel like the parent- in control and in charge from before the kids get up... Awesome!

So, how did I make this transition? Well, it is a complicated process... Not really, I just started to go to bed earlier :) These days, I like to be in bed by 9pm (some days a bit earlier). I am so busy during the day and so settled by bedtime that I generally fall asleep pretty quick. Then, by about 6:30am, my body is ready to get up, so I do. I don't listen to that little voice trying to convince me that I need just 5 more minutes. It's all a matter of discipline- being stronger than the little voice- and at the age of 30, I am finally starting get the upper hand in parts of my life.

There are other factors that motivated me to wanting to become a morning person, but they require a separate post, suffice to say that they relate to me becoming a more organised person :) To all those people who are morning persons, I can now understand why. To those who are thinking about becoming morning persons, go for it, it really does change your life. To those who love their bed soooo much and just can't bring themselves to becoming a morning person, now is probably not the right time for you. Just enjoy the stage of life you are at and if you ever decide that maybe, just maybe, mornings are for you, then go for it then.

Disclaimer: When I had just one baby, I would never have considered becoming a morning person... My baby didn't sleep well and if I didn't sleep when he did, I probably would have become a zombie (actually, I think I was). Being a morning person isn't for everyone at every stage of your life. Sometimes, whatever sleep you can get is what you need. For me, I am at a stage of life right now when I need to be a morning person :)

On a different note, here is my What I Wore Sunday pic :)  15 weeks pregnant

Weekly wrap up #7

Seems like forever since I've written a weekly wrap up (the last one was before lent!), so I am long overdue...

1.

My daughter is a ballerina (she is the one on the left). Well, at least she participates in the class now. Last year, we started ballet lessons and she lasted, well, less than a term. It was painful. She would whine and scream during the first half of the lesson, then she would warm up and join in. After a few weeks, the stress proved too much for me, so I decided to call it all off for a while. Now, a few months older (and with the positive influence of her 'best fwend'), she is participating and really enjoying ballet. I'm so glad because I really, really want to live vicariously through my daughter and ballet is just so graceful and little ballerinas are soooo cute!

2.

Speaking about my daughter, well, she has taken up hairdressing (and she sucks). Anna took it upon herself to cut her fringe, and the top of her hair. Result, she looks terrible (I know looks aren't important, but I'm shallow).

3.

 The children were told to be sad because Humpty was knocked off the wall :(

 Benji Bear, modelling a burgundy Christmas scarf

 The dads with their offspring, well mostly

 Alex, being cool with his new friend, Aiden

Fairy Ruby is chaperoning Benji and Lola's latest date (cutest lovebirds ever!)

This weekend, we went to Fairyland with our best friends :) I think I may have oversold it just a bit (I may have told my kids that there were real fairies there), but the kids all seemed to enjoy it. And the adults, well, we enjoyed the snippets of kids free time we could grasp (literally a few seconds here and there). We finished up with a great dinner of Mexican hamburgers (thanks to the husbands) while the kidlets jumped off the couch to the mattress (all fun and games until...)

4.

On a bit of a boring note... I have prepped myself to go cloth only with nappies. I can almost hear a collective groan as mothers read this and think 'what the heck is wrong with her?' Well, the answer to that question is 'a lot', however, none of those issues are related to my using of 'clothies'. I have bought in total 15 modern cloth nappies, double inserts, bamboo wipes and some natural soaps (for the wipes solution). Pretty excited to be doing this (I've used cloth nappies on and off since having kids, but this is the first time I've really thoughtfully prepared it). It's gonna be awesome :)

5.

Also, in the 'healthy' vein, we are back into organic eating and raw juicing, however, this time we are not having our food delivered, but going to the weekly markets. It is a really enjoyable outing with the kids. We save money, buy great quality food and are not wasting as much- all round win! I have this theory that farmer's markets either have a real yuppie vibe (where everybody is eating organic to be trendy) or a real Earthy vibe (where everybody is buying organic because it's the only viable option) and the market we go to is the latter (I love).

6.

This week, my husband and I have being going to bed a little earlier than usual to watch a movie, The Burbs. Having never seen this movie, it was an educational experience (my husband often feels it is his duty to make me watch movies that were his childhood favourites- he is often genuinely surprised if I haven't seen certain movies). Anyways, The Burbs, as a light comedy, pretty entertaining. **Spoiler alert** The best bit is when Tom Hanks cracks it at the end of the movie, throws his gurney into the back of the ambulance and jumps on it, in one movement- that was hilarious.

7.

And I am STILL reading the first volume of Sherlock Holmes! Finding it nigh impossible to find time to read at the moment. Don't know if the kids are to blame or if we're just in a difficult patch this week- fingers crossed that things mellow again next week :)

And since its Mother's Day, double whammy for What I Wore Sunday- I forgot about the pic until I was at my mum's, so I made her jump in too xx (Even though you can't see, I'm wearing boots, because these days I practically live in them)

It could be worse...

I have three rambunctious kids. Nearly every day I lose it, to some degree, and some days several times an hour. But you know what doesn't help... when I'm trying to vent my frustrations and I am told, 'well, it could be worse'. Really? That is your helpful response? It could be worse?!? I know it could be worse, but hey, right now, I'm thinking it's feeling pretty difficult!

Okay, breathe, and I'm back. I understand that when people say 'it could be worse' they are well intentioned, trying to put my 'little struggles' into perspective... But, you know what, 'it could be worse' is a catch phrase that I say to myself... (It could be worse, at least I don't have to stress about money, health, being a single parent, war, being tortured). I have perspective, I am perspective gal (Sammy, did you pick up that reference?), so it's not perspective I'm looking for when I launch into a tirade about the latest kid related shenanigans (lately, many of these have included Nutella, must hide it better).

Likewise, I am not looking for someone to 'fix' my kids/routine/life. Okay, you have four kids under three, you cook everything from scratch, keep a neat and tidy house and your children are already way ahead in jolly phonics and mathletics? That is wonderful, for you and your family, however, what works for one family, may not work for another, so please, if you see me having a terrible day with my kids, please don't point out everything that you do differently/better, unless you are willing to help. I listen to advice, I really do, but not every technique works across the board. So, if I'm having a vent, it may not be the best opportunity to offer anecdotes of how you do it so much better (I'm not jealous or bitter, I'm just in the market for something else)...

And now, drum roll please, what DO I want when I'm gearing up for a longwinded, extremely descriptive and well articulated vent? I'm so glad you asked... I want you to listen, and agree!!! Yes, my life may be a walk in the park compared to the poor mother living in a war torn country, struggling to feed her eight malnourished children (oh crap, now I feel really guilty), but right now, for me, based on my previous experiences, my life can seem pretty darn hard! Whinging babies do my head in (thanks Anna and Benji), psychotic tantrums for seemingly no reason frustrate me (thanks Alex and Anna), having to constantly censor the way I word questions/instructions etc to avoid a meltdown is mentally draining (thanks Alex) and a general lack of sleep and time alone is draining (thanks, well, all three of you).

So, in order to maintain some grasp of my sanity, I need to have a daily vent, always to my husband, usually to my mum and then if I catch up with other mums, why not? Venting is not the same as complaining about your kids, it's just letting go of the frustrations that build up over the day. I kind of liken it to confession, just rambling off the issues I've had, how I'm (not) coping, and how tomorrow is another day... Venting actually helps me verbalise what the basic issues are and gives me an opportunity to break these down and process ideas of how I could resove them (by the way, when a mother is venting, she is at liberty to offer herself any advice or suggestions).

So, if I ever see you when I've had a hard day (so, like, ever), please; give me that day my daily vent and do not tell me about how it could be worse :)

Another resolution bites the dust....

So, how long did that last? Not very long... I resolved to post one blog a week- is it that much to ask? Apparently, yes! Well, here's a two week condensed wrap up because I feel terribly guilty about not posting AND my avid readers (Kitty and Reebz) are very impatiently awaiting a post! So, without further ado, here goes nothing...

1.

My baby is starting to walk, a lot! I'm so happy because that means he will be walking for his birthday party, and that means more wardrobe options :) I know that I may seem incredibly shallow... (I have no follow on because when it comes to clothes and shoes, well, I am).

2.

I cut my hair off :) Not all of it, but most of it. I decided to style it like Alice Cullen from the fourth Twilight movie (Breaking Dawn). It serves a multitude of purposes, it's easier to wash, easier to style, heaps easier to dry, Benji can't pull it any more... As you can see, it's pretty much all good! (Only negative is that I need to have it cut more often and I look really bad in hats). 

3.

I've been back to work for a couple days. I need to do a certain amount of teaching days to keep my registration, so mum is babysitting for those days I am offered work... Really enjoyed the days I have done. I'm so lucky that the job I chose, teaching, is one I enjoy so much. Also, the skills are pretty transferable to and from parenting. However, even teaching for only two days further emphasises for me how fortunate I am to be able to be a stay at home mum- by not 'keeping up with the Jones' and being happy with a simple life has nothing but benefits, I find. I get to raise our children in their home and provide a fun and carefree childhood, where they have the security of a fully present parent at all times (nearly). I am so glad that we made the choice to postpone financial gain for the benefit of our children.

4.

We bought a van! But before the purchase was finalised, the van died... So, I was really excited about no longer having to fit three car seats in the back seat of our station wagon, but have decided that it obviously wasn't meant to be. I guess that this little suffering is one that I can put up with for a bit longer :)

5.

I spent all week practicing my newly acquired skill of basic knitting. I decided one night that I was going to learn to knit- so I drove to Spotlight at about 8pm, bought knitting needles, wool and a how to knit book. I spent the next couple of days perfecting the garter stitch (most simple thing ever), then I tried to teach myself how to purl. Luckily my mum was able to teach me ( my version of purling was completely wrong). So, in a week, I have knitted a beanie (for me) and I'm about a third of the way through a scarf. My kids have chosen wool for their own scarves.

6.

Gardening- I'm trying again (again). I have dug up a new plot, planted out some beet root and carrot seeds and I'm ready to plant lettuce and sow punnets of broccoli, cabbage, strawberries, fennel, peas and spinach. Fingers crossed it all works out.

7.

It's that time of year again... LENT!! It begins on Wednesday! So, I've being cyber stalking all my favourite bloggers to check out what they do to celebrate the season. A few ideas I have garnered; a Lenten display, kids to decorate their own stations of the cross- which we will frame, sacrifice beans -looks like a jar that the kids adds beans to when they perform a sacrificial act (including helping out) and eating a lot of soups, casseroles and simple cooking. I'll try to keep you posted about what we end up doing.

And btw, I'm planning on giving up Facebook and (gulp) chocolate for Lent. As well as daily rosary and prayers, I will be reading a book about Our Lady of Kibeho during Lent. I'm only posting this publicly so that I have at least two sisters and a mum who will hold me to it.

Finally, I owe you two what I wore on Sunday pictures :)

The Joys of Parenting

It can sometimes seem as though parenting (in my experience anyways) is mostly negative. What with the screaming, fighting, destruction, sleepless nights, mess etc, it can seem like it's a never ending cycle of bad and worse. However, contrary to popular belief (and my Facebook) there is, in fact, a lot of joy to be had- you just have to take a step back to recognise and appreciate it sometimes...

Newborns (little, titchy babies- like, less than a month old): well, the joys here are obvious. New babies are cute, they smell great, they are light and cuddly and cosy and sweet! Every moment is spent watching them and waiting for them to make a new discovery or develop a new skill. It really is a miraculous time, and I often would just stare in disbelief at my newborns; disbelief that they were my own little people, and also at the fact that they were inside me not so long ago...

Babies (until about six months): about the same as the twitchy babies, but now the little loves can recognise people! They actually start to love you back, and try to talk and move towards you. I love how the babies are so attached to me at this age- even though it's instinctual, it is still lovely. 

Big babies (six months to a year): love love love this age! The bubs are learning to crawl (Anna was already an expert by this time) and walk. They are starting to say their first words. They are developing a sense of humour. They are learning all about their world- often in a messy and hilarious way. 

Tiny toddlers (one year olds): much the same as the big babies, except more skillful. I can't count the times I found Alex making some kind of mess and I was left scratching my head as to how he thought of it or how he achieved it. Being the first, he had no older sibling to model himself on, it was all him. One of the really great things about one year olds, is teaching them to talk... It is so cute. You end up with all these words which are completely wrong but you don't correct your child because it's just too cute!

The terrible twos: okay, I won't lie, the terrible twos are exactly that at our house, but there is still some joy to be had amongst the chaos... Investing time into two year olds is invaluable! Play, cook, play, clean, play, garden and play some more. Two year olds need to be kept busy. The happiest days are the days where we are busy and we spend time together, at home, the park, the beach, on public transport- you get the idea... Investing time. It is an exhausting time for a parent, trying to keep up with chores etc, other kid(s) and entertaining a two year old, but it is worth it. I've found that having some imaginative toys (like Lego or dolls etc) is great for two year olds- we can set aside some time everyday when mum can be a kid and play (I find this works best when the baby is in bed). Twos are also toilet training time- an achievement that literally changes life for the better!

Now, I won't go through the threes and fours- I really don't have enough experience to have much of an opinion. However, I will say that during the threes (at about three and a half), Alex had a positive change... He started sleeping through the night and his behaviour improved immensely. 

Siblings: are a major source of joy! Watching my kids interact and play together is awesome... Not only does it free up some time to get necessary chores done, but it is also lovely to watch. It's probably my favourite thing about parenting. 

Smiles, giggle and belly laughs: what's not to love? When the kids are running around and cracking up laughing, it really is infectious. It has to be one of the greatest sounds in the world.

"I love you mum": whether it's said or implied- this is the pinnacle. Last night, I was lying down on a pillow next to Benji at 11:50 (he had woken up at 11). I was looking at him (struggling to keep my eyes open), and though his face was in shadow, I saw a smile spread across his face as soon as our eyes met. I was so exhausted, but at that moment, my heart melted and I was reminded, yet again, how everything is worth it. Also, when you are cuddling a sick child and you feel their little bodies just relax- that sense of security and comfort that only you can provide- it makes it all worth it. 

Sometimes, the joys of of parenting are obvious- a fun day at the beach, a family night filled with laughter. Other times, the joy is stepping back and appreciating that your kids need you, they want your approval, your time, your energy. Kids don't get that mum (and dad) are tired, frustrated, stressed- they shouldn't need to. They are kids and shouldn't have to understand adult issues. Sometimes, I need to remember that, and in remembering that, allow myself to feel joy- even when it seems joyless. It's not about always being happy- that just isn't possible- but being always joyful, well, that's doable. In fact, that's what we are supposed to do. So I guess that's the hard nut to crack with parenting- being joyful, always! (After writing this, hopefully I will be able to take my own advice!)

Please note: as much as I would rather not spend most of my life cleaning, sometimes the messes that the kids make are so creative and innovative that part of me is impressed. I act all cross and unimpressed, but I'm often trying to hold back a giggle and the sheer enormity of the destruction... Same goes for some tantrums- the more epic, the more hilarious. Often, the situations that look the worst (in pictures) are the ones that annoy me the least.

Weekly wrap up #5

So, I'm thinking that I'm going to restructure my weekly wrap ups in the style of the oh so awesome American mummy (mommy) bloggers, and instead of a run down of my week, I will give seven quick takes (or little thoughts from my week). So, here goes...

1

Having a child in kindy is all sorts of good :) Alex is adjusting well. He is still a bit of a crier but he assures me that he only cries for a little bit. This week, our biggest dilemma was when the teacher showed me a mat with chunks out of each side, next to a pile of chunks... Apparently, according to the teacher, Alex had claimed he was hungry... With a banana, a sandwich, a container of mini wheats, a tub of yoghurt and a rice cake, I doubt he was hungry, and even so, I guess he has learnt that rubber mats are not very appetising.

2

Another positive to come out of kindy, the concept of thumbs up and thumbs down behaviours. Alex and Anna are both so upset when we say, that was thumbs down behaviour. I took them to the shops the other day and after mentioning that someone was doing thumbs down behaviour, there was a meltdown, no, I want thumbs up, thumbs UP! Well, having your kids begging to be good is, well, a massive win!

 

3

I managed to have a clean house by the end of the week. I know that it might sound a bit, well boring, but for me, this is worthy of top three polling!

4

My husband built me something that I saw on Pinterest :) Now that I have a kindy kid, I decided that we needed a bag rack. So I picked a wall, picked a design and let my hubby do the rest. Very pleased with the outcome, now we are just waiting on a paint job. Also, we were so happy with it that we may extend it around the corner (emphasis on the word may, we don't want to get ahead of ourselves).

5

The forty plus degree weather has successfully ruined all our sleep training (weeks of letting our littlest love scream). Arrrggh! It's driving me absolutely crazy! Benji is screaming to sleep, sleeping for an hour or so, then waking up and demanding a feed. Now denying Benj a feed is potentially dangerous- he lashes out with scratching little nails (claws) and head butts and shrieks like a velociraptor. So yeah, I usually give in, a couple times a night... I am almost back to zombie status.

6

Have been watching zero tv these days... And loving it! I just find reading soooo much more engaging and I get tired quicker so go to sleep earlier... Oh man, just forgot, that whole last bit was a bit of a lie... We watched the Twilight Saga this week, because I was feeling a bit down and I figured that a bit of mindless and depressing dribble might make me feel better (plus I love the soundtrack- particularly to the first one)... So, apart from Twilight, been watching zero tv :) Oh, and if you're wondering, I did feel better after watching it- Bella is just so depressing that she makes everyone's lives look great.

7

And lucky last, I'm having a hard time thinking of a seventh on account of the fact that Benji is screaming so loud. Honestly, this is one part of parenting I really struggle with. The screaming, and the whinging, oh and the fighting, and the hitting, biting and scratching... Yeah, been having one of those weeks where I think, I'm really not that good at this parenting thing- but I'm going to turn it around, maybe I am okay it, maybe my kids are just not so good at being well behaved! And here it is, my final 'quick take' (drum roll please) after months of me begging, bribing, threatening etc, my daughter has decided to be toilet trained- and it's done! (During the day at least). I guess she just wanted it to be on her own terms, like everything else (yes, I am screwed once she is a teenager). Anyways, well done Anna, about time!

And, here's what I wore on Sunday!

To homeschool or not to homeschool?

It's a question that has already been answered in our home: no. However, my thoughts sway like a pendulum, constantly gliding between the benefits of one versus the other. I went to school, my husband went to school and so, therefore, our kids will go to school... To me, that is not enough. I like to way up all the pros and cons and make a decision, but also reserve the right to change my decision at a moment's notice, is that too much to ask?

Okay, I guess I should start by giving the reasons why homeschooling is even a blip on my radar... I read blogs! Yep, blog reading can be dangerous- for your marriage! You see, blogs give me ideas, which lead to action (cos I am my mother 's daughter, and why have an idea, I tend to execute it immediately!) Anyways, I'll be a little more specific on why homeschool (in theory) is so appealing to me...

1) We are Catholic. Not get baptised and go to Church once, maybe twice a year Catholic... But get baptised, attend Mass every week at least once, pray daily, learn about our faith (and try to live it) and live liturgically kind of Catholic. This type of Catholicism is hard work, it takes time, dedication, sacrifice among other things (but I hear that the reward is so worth it!) So, I would rather not have all our hard work installing authentic Catholic values in our children be undermined by teachers who do not know or aren't practicing the faith. Unfortunately, this is the case even in many (if not all) Catholic schools.

Weekly wrap up #4

Well, this week has brought about a delightful new development... Alex, my oldest child, began kindy!! Yep, two full days in a row! I'm getting a bit ahead of myself, so let's start at the very beginning...

Monday: public holiday, Australia Day- we did nothing! Not entirely true, I did send my husband down to Bunnings to pick up the materials we needed to put up a really cool bag rack along our hall way, however, due to poorly timed naps and not having the right tools on hand, we decided that the purchase was good enough and we would get around to the building at some other time... I did start my ultra structured daily routine, but with daddy home, it was loosely adhered to.

Tuesday: the big day! Dad back at work and Alex's first day at kindy. Alex started the day really well, got up, had breakfast, got dressed and ready... He did tell me that he wasn't going to go to kindy because it made him sad and he would cry, but I just said that it was okay to cry and I would be there to pick him up at the end of the day.

Strawberry pick in' and the Compass cup!

Yesterday, we all went to Mount Compass with my mum, my sister and a friend from Slovenia. If anyone out there reading this has kids, you may have heard of a Canadian cartoon called Caillou. Caillou is four and has a little sister Rosie. My two older kids, therefore, often assume these characters. They are amazing and remaining in character, to the point where they will only respond to Caillou and Rosie and will adopt a Canadian accent. It is very cute! Well, there is an episode where Caillou goes with his friend Clementine to the berry patch to pick strawberries. Sadly, this episode was, I fact, my overriding inspiration to go berry picking.

Picking strawberries was actually a really enjoyable outing. Alex and Anna don't really enjoy eating strawberries all that much, but they thoroughly enjoyed picking them! Benji, on the other hand, thought he was in Heaven... Every time he had smashed through a strawberry, he growled for a replacement. I think he probably had the most fun of all.

After some successful berry picking, we went into the town and had lunch at the bakery before heading into the Compass Cup. I had low expectations, but it was pretty awesome... The kids went on a ride, Alex and Benj went into the animal nursery (surprise, surprise, Anna was scared) and then they played on the tractors and at the playground.

The adults, however, had an absolute ball watching the races... The milk scull- hilarious! Contestants had to run to a straw bale, scull a litre of milk, run around the oval to another straw bale, scull another litre of milk and then run to the finish line... Every chuck got a resounding cheer from the crowd... The other obstacle races were also amusing.

Unfortunately, we had to leave relatively early because we had plans in the evening, but we had a great day out and may have to go back next year... After all, we didn't get to stay for the main event, the cow racing!